My choices are about expressing my inner experience. I could care less about being conventional. I need a color for all my uncertainty and a texture for all my grief. What can I find for my canvas that points me towards new understanding? I have this jacket that was Mom’s. I slip pieces of it onto my canvas. I draw the front door from my childhood home and I tuck it away in the shadows of my work. I draw these funny little birds that squawk, tumble, spin, and teeter on the surface of my creation. I see that each bird is me as I tumultuously try to find solid ground. I do this all for hours: choosing colors, shapes, objects, and significance. Words wrap the canvas, but they are garbled and seemingly senseless. I wonder if others will think I have lost my mind? These are odd choices, but I didn’t mean to do something out of the ordinary. I was just lost in the process. I guess you could say this work was one big experiment, but that wasn’t the plan. This is simply what came out of me. I draw these fish that swirl, splash, and glide on the surface of my creation. I see that each fish is me as I waft about and try to find solid ground. I do this all for hours: choosing colors, shapes, objects, and significance. I create it all in a liminal space: suspended between yesterday and tomorrow.
Creative process lets you experience “right now” within the tugging tensions of “yesterday” and “tomorrow.” What happened in the past, and what will happen tomorrow, can be understood within the realities of the present moment. This is all possible with a paintbrush and a canvas.